Who Am I?

Sometimes when I'm sitting in traffic, especially when I didn't have a radio in my car, when there was nothing to do besides yell at how terrible people drive, I like to look around at all the hundreds of people sitting in their cars around me and imagine what their lives are like. You know, oh, she's definitely a soccer mom with three kids. Or, he's going to be really rich in a few years. I also like to think about how many people they know. I compare this with how many people I know. I usually am way more popular than they are.

Still, it's weird. Every day we see hundreds of people who have nothing to do with our lives, people we've never met and may never see again.

Mostly we just pass people by without a thought, caught up so much in our own world that we don't really stop to think about who they are and the experiences they've had. This is what I do in traffic. I think about people and how they lead lives in the same city, yet I know absolutely nothing about them. Then I start thinking on a grander scale. Out of all the billions of people in the world, I am but one. One tiny person who doesn't even know the smallest fraction of the people who inhabit this planet. I haven't even been to every place in the whole world. I haven't seen Mount Everest, or been to Egypt, or seen the Dead Sea. My life is very miniscule compared with this entire world.

That's when an even larger scale comes to mind. There have been people on earth for thousands of years. In every one of those years there have been billions of people on the earth. There will be billions more people in the thousands of years to come. We're not even sure if we're the only intelligent life in the whole universe. Even if we're not, there are planets and stars bigger than I can even imagine, certainly much bigger than I am. This entire universe could swallow me whole and not even notice. I'm that tiny.

But you know what? To God, I'm that big. I'm more than the entire universe. I'm so important to him, it's hard to describe. David did well in Psalm 8: 3-9. "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!"

Who am I, God, that you are mindful of me?

Who am I
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am IThat the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

I am yours.

How dare I, nothing compared to everything You have and created, not be mindful of You? What right do I have to give you excuse after excuse about why I don't spend time with you, when that's all you want. You want that from me, specifically, out of the billions of people, out of the trillions and jazillions of people who have lived and who will live in the future. You chose me. Me.

Why God? You could have anybody! I am nothing, no one of worth, insignificant. There can only be one reason.

Love

What wondrous love is this,
O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this
That caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul!

When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down
Beneath God's righteous frown,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul for my soul,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul.

God, my soul just cries that out to you: What wondrous love is this? How is it that while I was still nailing you to the cross you could look on me with love? God, who am I, that you are mindful of me? Who am I that you love me so? I am so unworthy, so undeserving.

But God, whatever the reason, I don't care. I'll take it. Love me God, like none other ever could, ever would, or ever would want to. You are everything, I am nothing. I humbly, facedown and uncomfortably, awkwardly, knowing that you deserve more offer to you all I have. Myself.
Thank you for loving me.