Failing Love

One of my favorite TV shows is Law & Order. My whole family enjoys watching it together, we’ll sit down and watch it for hours at a time trying to figure out who really commited the crime, waiting to see how the DA will prove the defendants guilt. Sometimes the show can be a little bit disturbing, with very violent crimes or disturbing things happening. Those especially disturbing ones are the ones that seem to stick with me more.

I was thinking about a particular episode that has really stuck with me and I was wondering why. Why would someone commit such a crime? Of course, in the show, they tell you what their motive was. Either they weren’t loved by their parents or they were abused as children or they are very angry. Anger is a very powerful emotion. It blinds us to all truth.

I can remember times where I’ve gotten so angry it was like I had this burning desire to hurt something or somebody. A lot of times when I get angry I really want to hear the sound of glass breaking. Something to relieve this immense pressure that’s building up inside, threatening to get out. It makes me want to grit my teeth and my muscles tense up, ready to strike at anything, even myself. It’s a very powerful emotion.

Hearing on the news a story about a mother who kills her children, most usually wonder why. Those were her children, how could she kill them? Doesn’t she love them anymore? After being a nanny for three summers in a row, trust me, I know how these women feel. Children can be very overwhelming, you love them so much and they do so much to hurt you or make you upset. They have never ending energy, where we have very limited energy. It’s hard to be patient. Then the anger again builds up until you have to channel it somewhere.

I read in a book that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. You cannot have great hate without great love, though it may not be a great love for that person, it is a great love for something. Hate spawns from twisted love, it’s roots delve deep within hurt. Hurt happens when there is a love for something or someone and something happens to damage that love, whether it is another person doing something to create that hurt, or somebody saying something. From that hurt comes hate.

We’ve all been hurt before in our lives. Somebody has said something that cut us deeply. We’ve been left out, when friends are getting together. We’ve been unwanted, unloved when all we strive for is acceptance and love. We have been hurt deeply, to the very core of who we are, yet we continue to live.

There have been times in my life where I wouldn’t have been able to make it without love. When I say there have been times in my life I really mean my entire life. We cannot survive without love. But the love of this world is failing. We see it every day. My love is failing, your love is failing. This world if full of failing love. We love ourselves too much to really love others and you cannot be complete without someone else’s love. Without love we end up as murderers on Law & Order. Failing love continues to disappoint, hurt, and twist our hearts until there is nothing left. How do we survive?



http://www.gapingvoid.com/
Moveable_Type/archives/003
142.html